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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?